The Modern Man’s Guide To Being A True Gentleman
Despite proclamations, chivalry is not dead. Never has been. Never will be! Because no matter the times being a gentleman never goes out of style.
Being a gentleman is based on a man’s values, morals, ethics, and honour. Sure, times have changed and women can do it all these days, but show me a woman who doesn’t like being appreciated and treated like a queen, and I’ll show you a woman who needs it.
In a technological world, dating has become a nightmare for today’s men where choosing a “mate” can be as simple (and lazy & crass) as swiping one way.
Here’s a 25 point guide for men in a fast-paced, modern world that any man no matter the size of his bank balance (or dick) can implement. These easy to do gentleman acts will help you stand out from the crowd and make a positive impression on any real lady.
Make A Great First Impression
This should go without saying but many men fail at the first hurdle. You don’t need to buy the latest designer suit, show up in a fancy car, or spend hundreds of dollars on clothes, cologne, shoes, or dinner, just know how to make a good first impression. This can be anything from taking a little extra effort of cleaning yourself up, to dressing sharper, and arriving ahead of time. You never keep a lady waiting – ever! Anything that makes a great first impression leaves a lasting impression.
Open Doors For Your Lady
One of the simplest, easiest gestures every man should be doing without fail. Nothing says gentleman more than a man who opens a car door for his lady. Same goes for shop and restaurant doors, or any door for that matter. Open doors and watch her open her heart.
Pull Out Your Lady’s Chair For Her
Much like opening doors, this is an old classic which has faded over the years, yet never should have gone out of style. By doing this gesture, you’ll show off your class and gentlemanly skills. Make sure to gently glide her chair in as she sits to fully complete the deed.
Stand Up When She Enters The Room
This might hark back to old fashioned values but nothing makes a bigger statement than bringing old gentleman charm and etiquette into a modern world, to really make your lady sit up and take notice. It’s also a good idea to stand when she gets up to go to the toilet. It’s the little extra steps you take that make all the difference.
Give Up Your Seat
Here’s a chance to lead by example and be selfless. Don’t be the guy who notices then completely ignores a lady’s discomfort and distress, especially an elderly woman. Be a gentleman, give up your seat, your lady will be grateful.
Help Put On Her Jacket (Or Offer Yours)
It’s easy to want to undress a woman in the heat of the moment, another thing entirely to slip a jacket on her before stepping outside. And a whole other level when you offer your jacket or coat if she is cold and doesn’t have one. Rise above the lecherous pack solely looking to undress a lady and prove your worth.
Walk On The Outside Of The Footpath
Such an easy act to do but so often forgotten. By being nearest to the road, this chivalrous gesture demonstrates your willingness and ability to protect your lady, and your desire to guard her wellbeing.
Pay Attention
The more attentive you are, the more likely you are to find out what makes her truly tick. And what makes your lady tick (and smile wide) is a gentleman who pays attention and remains fully present. A key point to remember here is that you do not need to reply or offer a solution. Listening is enough.
Spend Time With Her Family
Spending time with your lady is a given. Spending valuable time with her family, a class above. Be the gentleman that relishes time with your lady’s family. Find acceptance with her loved ones, find more love with her.
She Goes First
A gentleman always lets his lady order first, and when the food arrives, he waits for her to take the first bite. When you love your lady, you also offer up your last bite, regardless of whether she accepts it. Allowing her to go first shows you care.
Keep Her Dry In A Rainstorm
Whether you have a big or small umbrella, hold it over her, even if it means you get wet. If you don’t have a brolly, use your jacket to hold over her. The clothes will dry, a lady’s disappointment will not. Be the man who will stop at nothing to keep his lady nice and dry.
Guide Your Lady Through A Crowd
Use the simple, intimate gesture of placing a light hand on the small of her back as you escort her safely through a mass of people. This initiative shows you care about her wellbeing. The secret to this one is guide don’t push.
Take Off Your Hat When You Enter A Room
This was a core act back in the day that’s fallen by the wayside over the years. But there’s no reason you can’t do it today. It shows respect, and speaks volumes for the man you are and how you were raised.
Stand Up For Your Lady
If your lady is disrespected or spoken rudely (or crudely) to, standing up for her honour will do more for you and your masculinity in front of her than almost anything else you do, but it must be done with tact and diplomacy. If you resort to stooping to a lower level, then you’ll lose respect in your lady’s eyes. You obviously want to avoid a confrontation, so choose your words wisely. By standing up for your lady and doing it with care, tact, restraint, you will positively beam in your lady’s eyes.
Be Kind And Respectful To Everyone
It doesn’t matter if it’s the waiter, the checkout girl at a supermarket or the slow, elderly person ahead of you a queue, be kind and show respect. This indicates you were raised right and have a timeless patience for everyone, most of all yourself. Your lady will respect you even more as a result.
Ask Your Lady To Dance
Who cares if you have two left feet, there’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man unafraid to dance with abandon and have fun doing it. But if you can dance, then your lady will love you even more. Nothing sexier than a man who can glide across the dance floor with panache and grace, absorbed in the music & rhythm, and the love of his lady.
Say Please And Thank You
It’s often the easiest, most simplest things that make the biggest difference. Saying please and thank you, both to her and others, matters. It costs nothing to do but earns you so much in return. Your lady will love this more than you realise.
Be Honest, Loyal & Reliable
Arguably inside the top 3 of the best things you can do as a gentleman, if not at the very top. In a world where dishonesty, disloyalty and unreliability are all too common, honesty, loyalty, and reliability speak louder than any words ever could. By being honest, loyal, and reliable, you show to your lady how much she means to you.
Don’t Be Afraid To Admit When You’re Wrong
While it’s okay to walk with a quiet confidence and knowing, its even better to know when you’re in the wrong and be unafraid to admit it. This shows your lady you can recognise a situation and own up to your mistake. Huge points gained for this one where you never lose face, merely gain greater credibility in her eyes.
Stay Cool, Calm & Collected
Nothing will turn her off faster than a man who loses control and explodes. A true gentleman knows how to stay cool, calm, collected, and composed in front of his lady no matter the situation. This shows you think rationally and don’t come from a place of volatile emotion before speaking or acting. Her eyes and mind will come alive when she sees you act this way.
Take Pride In Yourself
No matter how long you’ve been with your lady, taking pride in your appearance is important. It can be as simple as regularly showering and shaving, sporting clean clothes, or taking care of your physique with some basic exercise. By having high standards in presentation, career, life, love, you’ll not only impress your lady but set an example for other men to follow.
Be Open Minded & Informed
Keeping an open mind and being informed, indicates you’re a gentleman who cares about the world around him and the things going on in it. An open mind does wonders for both of you, and being intellectually and culturally aware shows her that you care about things beyond your own little world and ideals.
Walk Your Talk
Another guideline easily inside the top 3, and one that will count a lot to your lady. Any man can talk the talk, but only a gentleman delivers on that talk through his actions. A gentleman who follows up his words with actions, highlights he's a man of his word. That speaks louder to her than anything you will ever say.
Walk Beside Your Lady
Only a gentleman knows the relevance and importance of this cherished task. Your lady will respect and cherish you all the more, that regardless of what might pull at your attention, you put her first by walking beside her, not ahead. And don’t abandon at her at an event either. Be conscious of her and check in from time to time to ensure she is okay. Show her you care – and that she matters!
Carry Your Lady’s Bags
Make her your priority by carrying her shopping bags, suitcases, or other cumbersome items. This shows you value her and desire to make her life easier. Be the gentleman who freely does this without ever being asked, and does so without complaint.
Respect Yourself
One final point that’s crucial to any gentleman, is to always have enough respect and care for yourself. You never want to be taken advantage of simply because you’re a gentleman. So respect yourself enough not to be taken in by any ungrateful or false ladies, while remaining true to yourself. A true gentleman takes care of himself first so that he can take proper care of a real lady.
Always Look To Improve Your Gentlemanly Ways
No matter how much of a gentleman you are to your lady, and to others, you should always be looking for ways to continually improve and enhance your chivalrous skills. It doesn’t end once you’ve wooed and impressed her. It’s an ongoing task.
Remember, this is only a guideline that covers some of the more pertinent points, however, there are so many more things a gentleman can do. By aiming higher and taking action, you’ll find becoming a gentleman gets easier with patience, practice, and perseverance. It will pay off in ways beyond your wildest imagination.
Being a gentleman takes a disciplined effort until it becomes second nature. One where you no longer need to think about it – you just are. Now go forth, lead by example, and be the gentleman you have always wanted to be, for you and your lady.
